The aim of this paper is to question the paradigm—which is also central to Parry's theory of the 'Indian gift'-of the unilaterality of the gift structure among wife-givers and wife-takers in north India on the occasion of marriage and other samskara. On the basis of detailed ethnography, it will be shown that the gift giving system (bartan) of the urban Khatri in Mandi (Himachal Pradesh) does not substantiate this theory of unilaterality. In Mandi there is definitely an asymmetric, but not a clear-cut unilateral, structure. Even with regard to kanyadan, reciprocation seems to be more complex than the soteriological argument of Trautmann and Parry suggests. It will be further argued that, with regard to Mandi, proportional, asymmetric reciprocation is central to the system of bartan, which implies a gift exchange in Mauss' categories. Bartan is conditioned by the content and structure of the rites de passage, by the general hierarchical social order, by the kin structure, and by asymmetry of giving, receiving and returning of gifts within the life cycle and over the generations.